A Lost Child

Of all the rides that we went on during our trip, my heart never beat as fast as it did the day we lost Ashley.  We were at an amusement park and everyone had gathered in this square for a show.  As soon as it was over and people started dispersing, I counted kids 1,2,3,4,5 ….  Someone was missing and it was my Ash.  She couldn’t have gone far and I started calling her name.  Time was passing, crowds of people were moving out of the area and we still couldn’t find her.  I started screaming her name and getting more frantic.  As the time kept passing, I realized that she couldn’t hear me calling her and that meant she wasn’t near me anymore.  I turned to others for help.  It wasn’t looking good and my screams for her started to get mixed with tears.  Time just kept moving on and we couldn’t find her anywhere, and there were sooo many places she could have went. 

The area where we were at branched off into quite a few different paths.  As I was freaking out, a woman came up to me with Ashley in hand.  She said that she had seen me looking for my daughter, (probably more like she had seen me freaking out) and as she was walking she came upon Ashley walking along with the rest of the crowd of people.  She told me that we looked too much alike and knew she was the little girl I was calling for.

Part of me wanted to hug her and never let her go again.  Yet, the other part wanted to yell at her for not staying by us.  “Ash, why did you leave?”  To which she replied, “I was just going along with the people.  I thought you were with them.”  I explained to her that “we weren’t going where the other people were going and that she needed to stay by us, so that she was safe”.

This experience really scared me and I have reflected on it quite a bit since it happened.  I can’t imagine how Heavenly Father feels when we are lost, when we can’t hear his voice, and wander with the crowds, oblivious to the heartache that he is feeling.  Ash was going with the crowd and thought she would find us somewhere along the way.  So many times in life as we are “going with the crowd” we are actually distancing ourselves from those we love and what we know to be true.  It is then hard to find our way back.  I firmly believed and told Ashley that if she would stay by me she would be safe.  Isn’t it true that if we stay by Our Father, we too can be safe.  He will protect us, and isn’t it so much easier to protect someone when they are right there by you!

I’m so grateful that we didn’t lose our Ash.  I have been hugging her closer and tighter since this happened.  I want to remember this experience though, and constantly check myself on where I am.  Am I safe by my Heavenly Father or am I off wandering.